|
The High Court |
|
Deep Thinkers Only... |
|
Union-iced |
|
June 6, 2005
The Union: Unbeatable……Not So Fast! by Darth Reagan
For those subscribers that don’t currently have FX Channel or ESPN3 on your dish, I want to be the first to inform you on the current playoff picture for the 2005 NHL Season. The most recent expansion team, The Union, currently have a stronghold in both the Eastern and Western Conferences. Many insiders attribute their dominant performance this year to their defense but I happen to disagree with most observers. I attribute their stronghold over the league to their “offensive” performance.
The Union are no strangers to being in the driver’s seat and 2005 is no exception. In fact, this year has been one of the more dominant performances of their long and united history. Every time they have faced a challenge this year they have been able to step up, collect themselves and walk away. Not even the Great One could stop their brilliance and determination to walk out. When Mr. Gretzky, the greatest hockey player ever, came to face them they simply checked him into the board room and walked away again. I think you are the greatest, but you should’ve known better than to take on such a formidable competitor. Their record is evidence of such dominance. Over the past 100 years The Union stand at 100-1; a .990 winning percentage! They are a true dynasty. Can they be beaten? Not with the current game plan: ‘Back down and let The Union have their way with the league because they are nearly unbeatable’. There has to be a better game plan.
The way I see it, we have two options. We can employ 100 more attorneys, read 10,000 more pages of fine print and schedule meeting after meeting for the next 2 years until The Union finally say “you win”. Or…………We can follow the game plan of the only Coach ever to beat The Union; Ronald Wilson Reagan.
1981: The International Federation of Air Traffic Controllers(The Union) vs. Ronald W. Reagan
The Union were riding on a high after another undefeated season to push their dynasty to a 90-0 record. They had momentum on their side and the best offensive weapon in the league: The Strike. Some say they were a bit overconfident. The Union didn’t realize it but they were in for not only a game but a blowout.
As they orchestrated their usual game plan to perfection and went on strike they let their guard down for a moment. That was all Mr. Reagan would need as he instituted his plan: 48 Hours and back to work or you are fired!
Needless to say, the details of the rest of the game were so gruesome and the outcome so lopsided I won’t mention them in print. The bottom line is this: Ronald Reagan 1-0 and The Union 0-1.
Just remember. When The Union wins it looks like this………. __________________________________________________________ NHL 2005 Standings:
Eastern Conference Record GB Last 10 TAMPA BAY 0-0 0 0-0 BOSTON 0-0 0 0-0 PHILADELPHIA 0-0 0 0-0 TORONTO 0-0 0 0-0 OTTAWA 0-0 0 0-0 NEW JERSEY 0-0 0 0-0 MONTREAL 0-0 0 0-0 NY ISLANDERS 0-0 0 0-0 BUFFALO 0-0 0 0-0 ATLANTA 0-0 0 0-0 CAROLINA 0-0 0 0-0 FLORIDA 0-0 0 0-0 NY RANGERS 0-0 0 0-0 WASHINGTON 0-0 0 0-0 PITTSBURGH 0-0 0 0-0
Western Conference Western Conference
DETROIT 0-0 0 0-0 SAN JOSE 0-0 0 0-0 VANCOUVER 0-0 0 0-0 COLORADO 0-0 0 0-0 DALLAS 0-0 0 0-0 CALGARY 0-0 0 0-0 ST LOUIS 0-0 0 0-0 NASHVILLE 0-0 0 0-0 EDMONTON 0-0 0 0-0 MINNESOTA 0-0 0 0-0 LOS ANGELES 0-0 0 0-0 ANAHEIM 0-0 0 0-0 PHOENIX 0-0 0 0-0 COLUMBUS 0-0 0 0-0 CHICAGO 0-0 0 0-0 __________________________________________________________________ When the free market wins it looks like this:
You pick…..
|
|
Is Gary Bettman crying uncle? Darth Reagan says he shouldn’t...not if he knows what’s good for the future of the NHL. (cbs sportsline)
|