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The High Court |
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Deep Thinkers Only... |
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All-High Court |
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What’s In a Name? By: Ed Chapman
Names have long been something more than simply a way to identify one another. In the Bible, a name given at birth was supposed to indicate something about the person or project what they would become in life. This seemed pretty good for a long time until we reached the A.D. time frame and started having trouble with the proliferation of Jameses and Johns, so…
The addition of surnames became necessary to minimize the confusion. England’s Henry VIII surely appreciated this new-fangled way of keeping people straight as he went through three Kathrines (various spellings) and two Annes. And though this was very helpful…
By the late 1800’s and early 1900’s the two-word name was way too boring and out of style. We can offer thanks to baseball for jazzing things up a little. Where else could you find guys known as “Vinegar Bend”, “Three-Finger”, “Highpockets”, “Bonehead”, “Rajah”, “Peanuts”, “Specs”, or “ Pud”? While it’s hard to match the uniqueness of such monikers, today we still have names that mean something.
Now that I have tried to convince you that names are important, please take a look at The High Court of Sports All-Time Baseball Name Team.
C: Johnny Bench, 1967-83 (CIN) Where it all begins for a judge, on the bench. Kinda reminds me of where my playing career began – and ended. 1B: Joe Judge, 1915-34 (WAS, BKN, BOS) Could there me a more logical choice? 2B: Craig Counsell, 1995-present (COL, FLA, LAD, ARZ, MIL) Craig might need to use legal counsel someday when he chooses to sue the coach who taught him that stance. 3B: Bill Madlock, 1973-87 (TEX, CHC, SF, PIT, LAD, DET) Bill Madlock, Ben Matlock. Close enough. SS: Jim Percy Mason, 1971-79 (WAS, TEX, NYY, TOR, MTL) In honor of another famous TV lawyer. The middle name is almost perfect, unlike his .203 career average. LF: Barry Bonds, 1986-present (PIT, SF) Barry may soon know more than he wants to know about court proceedings…but I think he’ll be able to post bond if necessary. CF: Gorman Thomas, 1973-86 (MIL, CLE, SEA) Lest we forget Supreme Court justice Clarence Thomas. RF: David Justice, 1989-02 (ATL, CLE, NYY, OAK) As in there is no justice in the fact that David played in 112 postseason games, while Ernie Banks played in zero.
RHP: Steve Stone, 1971-81 (SF, CHW, CHC, BAL) After former Supreme Court Chief Justice Harlan Fiske Stone. RHP: Mike Warren, 1983-85 (OAK) This Warren Commission didn’t fare much better than former Chief Justice Earl’s efforts (9-13, 5.06 career for Mike). LHP: Jon Matlack, 1971-83 (NYM, TEX) Jon Matlack, Ben Matlock. Close enough. LHP: Angel Miranda, 1993-97 (MIL) Undoubtedly, Angel was arrested and read his rights after posting a 17-21 record with a 4.46 ERA for the mid-90’s Brew Crew. And to think he could have been Tampa Bay’s ace the next year.
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Stormin’ Gorman twice led the AL in homers despite a lifetime .225 average. Thomas finished with 268 career home runs. MLB.com) |
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“Mad Dog” won the ‘76 NL batting crown with a .339 mark. Madlock would complete his career with a .305 average. |
