The High Court

Deep Thinkers Only...

The Big Gavel—Curses

July 20, 2005

 

Cover your ears.  And in this case, avert your eyes.  #$*%$#@#!!!!!  Sorry, I had to get that out.  I hit my driver in the trees, chunked my wedge, and three-putted for bogey.  And that makes me so #*$#&*# mad!!!  I hope I didn’t offend you…No…scratch that.  I don’t care.  I am competing for the U.S. Open championship.  I could care less if my sailor-worthy swearing offends you.  So get it over it.

 

Think I am kidding?  Nope.  Sorry.  Because just like Tiger Woods, many of his fellow golfers, and various athletes from professional sports, I would no doubt spew forth language full of color in the heat of the moment.  And if one of a network’s boom mics is in my face or one of their cameras grab a nice tight close-up of my mouth while I am frustrated, then send your complaint mail to them, not me.  They want full access.  That’s full access, baby.  Please spare me a visit from the obscenity police.

 

The obscenity police was not heard from too much this week at Pinehurst, although Johnny Miller did put the badge on during the back nine when Tiger hit a poor approach and a close-up caught him saying something that rhymes with duck, chuck, f…whoops…I almost slipped up there, didn’t I?  Miller (who by the way was really good this weekend…candid, insightful, and able to keep references to somebody’s nerves under a thousand) is of the Mormon faith, and Tiger’s loud outbursts of profanity have always offended him.  Now regardless of your faith, we can all agree that having such language come through television screens to impressionable youth is not exactly appropriate. But if network announcers are going to take players to task for their language, then they should be just as willing to criticize their own network for catching it on air.

 

You have all seen it countless times:  Player hits a bad shot, and the picture immediately shifts to said player for reaction.  So what are we expecting?  Especially from emotional, fiery competitors?  The producers of golf telecasts want to bring you every single thing that happens in a Tiger Woods round of golf. Every sight and every sound.  So they capture every moment filled with the raw energy and emotion of one of sports most charismatic figures.  Some of those moments are filled with absolute joy, some with incredible intensity.  But for every smile and every fist pump, there may be a slammed club or a clearly uttered obscenity.  Because this is one of the greatest, most focused competitors the sports world has ever seen.  Tiger doesn’t have it in his mind to disappoint or offend anyone.  He is simply living in the moment.  His moment.  Not ours.

 

I am not here as a Tiger Woods apologist.  Nor does he need me to be.  He is a grown man, and he can answer to anyone who has a problem with his behavior himself.  I am here as someone who is sick and tired of people being offended by everything that crosses their path.  You know what it takes to be offended?  It takes making an issue personal.  Well, when a professional athlete curses during competition, it isn’t about you.  They don’t know you.  If they did, they probably would avoid trying to offend you.  But they are simply reacting to their circumstances, living in their world.  So you do not have any particular right to be offended.  If Tiger Woods is playing through your living room, hits a poor shot, and then curses at the top of his lungs, then he will have crossed the line.  When he does it from inside your television set, that’s just too bad.  Get over it.

 

If you have a problem with that, then you do need to take it up with the network covering the golf tournament.  Tell them to move the boom mics away from the players and ask them not to do close-ups on players that are clearly frustrated.  I guarantee you that you won’t see or hear quite as many obscenities then.  And here’s another thing you can tell television networks:  Stop camera stalking athletes that you know are going to erupt.  I was a big fan of the Yankees’ Paul O’Neill during his playing days.  Paul, like the Chief Justice, was an intense competitor.  He was also known for his emotional outbursts following bad at bats.  As a result, it became standard operating procedure for TV cameras to follow O’Neill in the dugout to see his reaction upon striking out.  Invariably, Paul would wear out a bat rack or water cooler.  And it would be broadcast every time.   Then commentators would either side with O’Neill as intense (that’s good) or immature (that’s bad).  But they would never claim responsibility for presenting the questionable behavior to the viewer.

 

Remember that old Charles Barkley commercial?  The one where he announced that he wasn’t a role model?  Well, he was right.  Professional athletes aren’t role models.  They can be heroes.  They can be inspirational.  And they can do so by performing great feats on the field of play.  Sure, it would be great if they were all super people who did the right thing all the time.  But they don’t.  And neither do we.  But it is our job to be role models.  Each of us that has a child or plays an important role in the life of a child has a responsibility to show young people the proper guidance in life.  It is our job to explain to them how they should handle adversity.  That burden does not belong to Tiger Woods.

 

I do believe that Tiger Woods is a good human being.  But that is neither here nor there.  What we can be certain of is that he is an incredible golfer, one that brings millions of people enjoyment with his play on a golf course.  That is largely thanks to television.  And it is worth noting that all of our professional sports, golf included, are now brought to us in a richer, more detailed fashion than ever before.  Sometimes that is a good thing, and sometimes not.

 

The Chief Justice is not suggesting that obscenities are a positive thing.  But they are not a completely negative thing, either.  They are a part of the human condition, and they come spilling out of most all of us, whether we are pro athletes, computer programmers, electricians, or librarians.  Most often they occur in moments of frustration.  I think we can all relate to that.  So as to the cursing we sometimes hear from some of our favorites, give them a break.  Not a free pass, but some understanding as to the context of the situation.  And don’t let yourself be guilty of being offended.  They don’t have you in mind, after all.

 

Who comes out guilty here?  Well, that would be the TV networks.  We are very appreciative of their coverage, but in the future fellas, do something for us.  If you are going to put players in a position to get caught swearing on air, at least acknowledge that you are partially responsible for it.  Or better yet, stop putting them in that position to begin with.

 

Court is adjourned.

The Chief Justice knows Tiger’s pain….

And The Chief is very glad there are no boom mics around when he’s on the course. (AP)